Give me a J! Give me an E! Give me an A! Oh, Never Mind...

Tom left on Friday for his 35th high school reunion in Southern California, which took place last night. Although I was tempted, I managed not to call him at 10:00 PM just to see how it was going.

But I might call him this morning just to see how it went...

You know that really cute, very shy guy that all the girls wanted to take care of in high school? The one who was too shy to know what to do with that sort of attention -- which actually made him even more attractive? That was Tom. He never went to a school dance, never was part of any "in" crowd, and never dated.

Well, never dated until the last month of high school -- which is when he got together with the woman who was his girlfriend for the next year or so, a woman who is, coincidentally, one of the organizers of the 35th reunion! I met her at the 10th reunion, which took place just weeks after Tom and I were married, and I really liked her. And now, 25 years later, Tom is going to his second reunion. Alone.

Am I jealous?

Hmmmm. Normally I'd tell you that I don't have a jealous bone in my body because really, I never have. Neither of us have. Jealousy is a wasted emotion that leads to nothing at all productive, and we both know that. Tom has always encouraged me to see Thomas when I go to Germany, which I really honor because my friendship with Thomas is so important to me and Tom is right not to be jealous of it. And Tom was never jealous of my adult friendship with my dear childhood friend, Luki, whose wife was jealous and forbid our friendship, at which point I literally cried on Tom's shoulder and he was completely supportive.

And to be fair, I went to my 20th and my 30th high school reunions alone, too -- and yes, there were a few ex-boyfriends in attendance at those reunions. Tom and I are both of the opinion that, unless a couple went to high school together or both already know a bunch of people who will be there, it's just dumb to bring a spouse because then you spend the whole time introducing your spouse to people rather than fully being there and taking part in the occasion. I believe that, too. I didn't really even want to go.

So why would I be even a tad bit jealous now? It has nothing to do with trust because I trust Tom implicitly. I think it has more to do with my own self-esteem. Although Tom is the same weight he was in college and aged fabulously (which I'm sure the entire female population at his reunion will notice!), I'm... well... significantly heavier that I was in college, and... let's just leave it at the fact (is it, in fact, a fact?) that men tend to age better than (menopausal) women! I know that my reaction has to do with self-esteem because when Tom looked at the reunion website and responded with, "Hmmm, everyone got old... and what happened to all those young svelte bodies? !" my reply was, "It happens to the best of us, my dear!"

So this jealousy thing? This completely unfamiliar emotion that sits at the pit of my stomach and eats at me? I don't like it. Not one bit. It is stupid and unproductive! And I'm about 99% sure that it's unwarranted. But damn that 1%!

Excuse me while I make a quick phone call...