Job Opening: Writer. Requirement: Ability to Write

I'm advertising for an experienced technical writer. Here are a few unedited e-mails I've received from candidates:

"I found you ad on Craig's list seeking a technical writer. Please find the attached resume."

Followed quickly by:

I just wanted to let you know that I am aware I missed the letter "R" in the previous message, my apologies. Please do not hold that against me, I am an excellent technical writer.”

(What was that rule about when to use periods and commas? Heck, even a semi-colon would have sufficed!)

So I sent that e-mail to a professional writer I know, thinking he’d pick up on the irony of it all. He replied:

“Funny stuff. These resumes are hard, I’m sure he has the chops and should get a shot at MS, but it would be much easier if he’d already been there.”

(What was that rule about when to use periods and commas? Heck, even a semi-colon would have sufficed!)

Hey – déjà vu!

Later in the day I received this cover letter from someone who wanted to be sure that I knew that she was a great writer (and I swear on my copy of Woe Is I, that this is a direct copy and paste):

“I have wrote materials that are very technical. The listing said that telecommuting was OK, I live in Arizona. Let me know if this works,”

I will never again hesitate to call myself a writer.

(And if you're an experienced technical writer with Microsoft experience who can write deeply technical deployment guides and whitepapers, please contact me ASAP. Just please, please proof your cover letter!)