The Tale of the Dog Who Ate Pants*

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived a dog named Seppi**. Seppi, the dog I grew up with, was a sweet doggie who seemed to love everyone. Everyone, it seems, except the significant others of his "people siblings."

The first indication of Seppi's obvious and somewhat bizarre disregard for his masters' love interests came the morning after my brother's girlfriend spent the night. As she slipped on her pants, she noticed a hole in the crotch. She knew the hole hadn't been there the evening before when she left the pants on the floor by the bed, but here they were, obviously destroyed beyond repair -- and all the damage was focused directly on the crotch of her pants! We had a good laugh about it the next morning, but no one could explain where the hole had come from.

Not long after that, Tom spent the night at our house. Since we weren't married yet, we slept in separate rooms. (My parents wouldn't have cared one way or another, but Tom was a good Catholic boy and felt more comfortable with separate sleeping arrangements.) The next morning, Tom called me into his room and held up his jeans, and there, bulls-eyed on the crotch, was a huge hole! Putting two and two together and barely able to contain my giggles, I asked him if Seppi had slept in the room with him. Yes, he replied; it was nice to have the company of the dog that seemed to like Tom and seemed to welcome him into our home.

Mystery solved. Our dog, it seemed, was not only deceptive, but destructive! And he certainly knew how to most effectively express -- and target -- his jealousy! From then on, any time a love interest of my brothers or mine would stay at our house, we not only made sure all pants were off the floor, we made sure Seppi was locked out of the room!

*Yes, I thought of a few more creative post titles, but I fear what would have come my way via Google searches if I'd used any of them, and ultimately (because this a family blog) I decided to play it safe.
**Here's the perpetrator himself, looking all sweet and innocent with Elisabeth when she was a baby. Would you ever have guessed that this cute little mutt was capable of such a vile crime?