Petty Crime

Don't let those sweet, adorable, "who... meee?" faces fool you for one second; these two are up to absolutely no good at all!

Shasta would like nothing more than to wander around the neighborhood, befriending people and begging for a playmate (preferably an 8-year-old boy and all his best buddies). Unfortunately, though, she has also scared a poor toddler to pieces when she "attacked" him as he walked by our house with his mommy (surely she just wanted to play, but I can definitely see how she could scare a tiny kid), so the rule is that Shasta can never be "unleashed" outside the house. She absolutely hates that rule and her pathetic, dejected face has even prompted us to consider fencing our entire acre of land just so she can go outside tetherless. (Once we remind ourselves of the cost, however, we quickly reconsider and are back to being regarded as doggie meanies again.)

Shasta wants to be good because she's a Golden Retriever and that's just the way these dogs are, but she also really, really, really wants to go outside.

Enter Boo, Shasta's partner in crime.

Boo can, of course, go outside any time he wants during the day (but never at night) because he refrains from attacking poor, sweet toddlers. When Boo's outside, Shasta is envious, jealous, pouty and whiney. And when guests come to our house, Shasta is beside herself with glee. All she wants is to be allowed to play with her new friend... who would surely love her if only they had the chance. Then Boo flaunts himself hanging out with the guest outside, almost as if to taunt Shasta: "Yeah, she's pretty cool... pretty damn cool, I tell ya!"

But today both of them were stuck inside when someone came to pick up the office chair we were giving away. (I'd listed it on our local freecycle.com website just moments before; gotta love the online community!) So they collaborated a scheme to escape! Those little brats!

Boo is not only smart, he's looong when he stretches out, and he's learned how to stretch himself quite tall and pull down pretty hard on our door handles to open doors! His favorite door to open is the door leading from the downstairs hallway to the garage, and when we can't find him in the house, we often discover that he's let himself into the garage.

Well today, as I opened the garage door from the outside to get the office chair for the woman who had come for it, I hear the door leading to the house unlatch and open, and lo and behold, who (that's a plural "who?") do you think prances out to meet me, full of themselves with that smug "do-NOT-fence-us-in!" look on both of their furry faces?

Yup. Shit-faced Shasta and Bad-Boy Boo!

I'm just gonna have to separate those two! How dare they work together to commit this crime?! I swear, Shasta conned Boo into performing his ol' "I'll get the door" trick, and the two of them walked right by me as if to say, "And who's the beee-atch NOW?!"