The Holiday Decoration that Wouldn't Leave

We welcomed Chris Moose into our family a few weeks ago. We really had no choice, with the way he looked at us from atop that shelf at Target.

We took him home and Tom lovingly assembled him which entailed, quite literally, taking his head out of his ass. That should have been my first indication...

Chris decorated our front lawn handsomely during the holiday season. Each evening at precisely 4:45 PM he lit up, and for the next 6 hours he obediently and willingly nodded his head, greeting everyone who happened by.



Today the holiday lights came off the house. Naturally, it was time to pack up Chris Moose as well. I have a feeling he knew something was up when he was unplugged and moved next to the bin in which we keep the holiday house lights.



But it was when he rang the doorbell and asked to be let in that I knew something was definitely up.



He made his way right to Shasta, appealing to her animal sympathy with a moose kiss. "I don't know why YOU get to stay all year," Chris complained. You don't even twinkle or have an attached wreath!



Then he appealed to Kat, who was making dinner. "Need any help with that, Cutie?" he asked. What a suck-up!



Moose didn't even wait for Kat to answer before he was begging Aleks for food, right along with Shasta. I guess meese are fast learners!



Obviously, though, Chris wasn't accustomed to human food, as he made his way right to the bathroom. Is drinking out of the toilet some animal instinct or something?!



Chris Moose, the big oaf, belched as he left the bathroom, then made his way right to the family game table, trying to gamble his way into the family home. "If I win this hand, I can stay. Yes?" he attempted to bargain. "It would be kinda fun to play with someone other than Boo and Shasta," replied Bailey. "But no one gets on the table except soft, furry, lovable, adorable ME! Well, me-n-Boo..."



Unfortunately, Chris lost that hand. And the next one, and the one after that. Some serious schmoozing was now in order. "Sounds like Bach's Tocata and Fugue in D," Chris said to Aleks, who was playing the piano. "No, Light Brain," Aleks replied. "Unless you get Coldplay and Bach confused. Sheesh."



Chris Moose was overjoyed when he saw that a place at the dinner table had been set for him...



...but no sooner was he ready to eat a bean burrito that Tom came and took his rightful place at the table, begging Chris' pardon. Phew! The thought of that moose eating beans is more than I can take!



Determined to prove to us that our concern was for naught, Chris demonstrated his quickly-acquired affinity for newspaper training...



And in an effort to impress us even further, Chris snuck up on Elisabeth who was immersed in a new book, and began reading aloud. (OK, that one impressed me.)



But all that brain power must have exhausted poor Chris, because I found him a few minutes later in the bedroom, snoozing with Boo...



...who is definitely too curious for his own good!



I dunno -- I think it might be kinda nice to have another animal friend keep me company in my new office.



But noooooo. The rest of the family voted and it was OUT THE BACK DOOR for Mr. Chris Moose.



But he's a smart one! I give him 10 minutes to show up again you-know-where...