Two Posts in a Row about Death -- This Shouldn't Happen

Tom watched a portion of 2 Weeks with me and it prompted a short discussion about "the best way to die" (with the full understanding, of course, that there is no "good" way to die). His father died suddenly in a car accident in 2001, while my mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2001 and died four years (to the day) later, in 2004.

Ironically, shortly after we had that discussion, the phone rang. It was my father and I could tell in his voice that something was terribly wrong.

Our dear friend, Beatte, who my parents met in Germany in the early 50's before immigrating to America, and who followed a few years later and settled in Berkeley just a few blocks from my aunt Ulli, was like an aunt to me and was a huge part of my childhood. She was a healthy, active 70-something-year-old woman who loved her three children and numerous grandchildren, who traveled extensively, who loved to walk and ate healthfully, and who was an excellent and devoted classical violinist.

Yesterday, as Beatte was playing violin in a quartet in a friend's livingroom as part of a casual "concert among friends," she collapsed. She never regained consciousness and was pronounced dead at the hospital. It was a massive heart attack.

This is the second time this year that a woman who is like family to Tom or me has died suddenly, with no opportunity for anyone to say goodbye.

I am so scared that this is how my father will die (though, after experiencing what Mom went through, I think he'd prefer to go this way). I guess the lesson here is to tell the people that you love how you feel about them, how much you appreciate them... and never to hold back.