An Open Letter to My ADULT CHILDREN

Hey guys, remember this? Way back last February, when you were oh so much much younger than you are now, I nicely requested that you go easy with the towels -- meaning that you don't use a new one for each and every shower, dumping it on the floor of your room while it's wet, until there's eventually a pile of wet, mildewed towels in your room and none left in the linen cabinet.

Remember that?

Obviously NOT, because this is what I gathered from your rooms this morning:

(And Elisabeth, lest you think you're exempt because you don't officially live here... how wrong you are! You're among the worst offenders, insisting that it's "gross" to dry your clean body with a dry, clean towel that's been set aside for you only!)

Ya know what, guys? You're awesome regarding the BIG things that matter, like working hard at school and being good friends and living your lives with maturity and responsibility. Really, in those areas I have no complaints. You truly ROCK and I am well aware how lucky we all are to get along so well, to laugh together so often, and to be able to be so open and honest with each other about things that many families can't even begin to talk about. And I love the fact that tonight, for example, all eight of us (Peter and Elisabeth with SOs) will be together for an impromptu pot roast dinner.

But please! Please, please, please guys -- make some concerted effort to conserve towels (and thus gas and electricity, not to mention my time and energy) so we don't have this once a week:

(That's a photo of 26 -- count 'em, TWENTY-frikkin-SIX washed, dried and folded towels!)

And since begging and pleading obviously hasn't worked, Mom has decided to institute a new RULE (yeah, I know -- you thought my only two rules were never drink and drive and if you're gonna have sex, have responsible sex):

From now on, no towels are to be taken from the bathroom. You can bring clothes or a robe into the bathroom with you, or you can run back to your room stark naked for all I care, but from now on NO towels are to leave any bathroom! EVER!

(And should you assume that there will be an endless supply of towels in the linen closet from now on, as there has been until now, how very wrong you are!)

I don't care if you're all over 18. If you break my new rule I will... um, I will GROUND YOU! (I'm still your mom, even if you're adults, so I reserve the right to discipline as I see appropriate.) And if your friends ask why you're grounded, you won't be telling them anything about a curfew or lying to your parents or about some dire run-in with the cops.

Oh no. Instead you'll hang your head in shame and tell your friends that your mama grounded you because you didn't respect her rule about the towels!

And really, is that a shame that you're ready and willing to face?