Panic!

I woke up this morning is a dull gray fog, fumbling for a thought.

No work... clean house... should join Weight Watchers, go to gym... trip to Costco a must...

And then a thought jolted me wide awake like an electric shock: I frikkin' bought airline tickets to Germany within hours of NOT getting a permanent job and NOT finishing as many freelance hours as I'd expected! How irresponsible can I be?! What if I now encounter a severe dry spell? Am I absolutely nuts?!

But then the mid-life-crisis-laden angel spoke to me and said, "Dude [she's a hip angel] stop worrying about SHOULDS and LOGIC and RESPONSIBILITY for once and just go with this! This is gooooood! This is important. No, this is criiiitical... Let go, m'lady and enjoy..."

Once my heart stops pounding and my breathing returns to a normal pace, I'll try to let go. I know in my gut that this trip is not irresponsible and that it's very much the right thing to do. I just woke up with that damn always be responsible cap on today, dammit.