Breathe...

I have accepted a full-time temporary stint (seven-day weeks, for about three weeks) with the ad agency, and I fully expect it to be absolute barely-controlled chaos. Are all ad agencies like this? The pace is frenetic, and it reminds me of some Pixar animation of hoards of insects just passing each other by, quipping "so busy... too busy... work, work, work!" but actually getting very little real productive work done.

I can't see how the job can be complete in the amount of time given. It is a HUGE undertaking, not nearly adequately staffed, with people like me coming in from the outside, clueless, and apparently given NO start-up or orientation time. I expect to be thrown right into the fire the moment I arrive, apparently managing both people and projects, with absolutely no introduction to anything. Talk about bad management! But it sounds like there's no time for or interest in team development or mentoring or any of those things that are critical (in my opinion) to successful teamwork. I'll be a worker bee -- and for what they're paying me, I'm OK with that.

Crap! Did I just blatantly defy my own standards about doing work that matters, in ways that are conducive to great teamwork? Did I just let money drive my direction? Or is it OK that I take this job to pay the bills and give myself more flexibility in finding what's truly right for me, to find a place where I can truly contribute in meaningful ways? I think I'd be crazy not to take this opportunity, actually. I do, after all, have a family to feed and (yikes!) kids to educate! How dare I be so snooty as to only take the exact work that will "fulfill" me?!

But I can already tell that the ad agency environment is most likely not for me. Unless the hectic pace fuels me and energizes me -- and there's always that possibility -- and then I'll be back here, eating all my words!

And now, off to the one-on-one with the CEO of the nonprofit that does amazingly meaningful, important, change-the-world work! Wish me luck!