Yearning

It's been nagging at the back of my mind (and heart) for a few years now, but these days it's beginning to be more of a persistent calling: I think I want to teach.

Call it ego, but I need to make a difference. I know I did that as the executive producer of FUEL and CHILL because the whole premise of those productions was encouraging teens to do something to change their lives, their communities and the world for the better. But what am I doing now to make a difference? After developing those videos, and before that, designing and producing educational software that enhanced kids' days and taught them important skills (the greatest was producing the Blue's Clues games!), I feel that I'm really having no influence at all on kids and learning right now at Microsoft -- that I'm just a blip on the radar rather than a significant contributor to kids' education. I soooooo miss feeling the pace, the drive and the energy of creating an important product -- and of being in charge of the development and production of those products! "The buck stops here" is a phrase that serves more to motivate than to intimidate me and, as stressful as it is to be the producer, product manager and the one in charge, I love it and thrive on that sort of team environment and that sort of motivating energy.

I have a Master's degree in education, but I don't have a teaching credential, so this morning, just for fun (ha!), I looked into what it would take for me to get out of the corporate business world and into the classroom. First, it would take me chopping my salary by half to two-thirds. That, in itself, might be enough to stop me because we have three kids yet to put through college. Next, it'd take about a year of schooling and a classroom internship. I love school, so that would be great... but when would I do a classroom internship if I'm working full-time?

If only I could find a position in which I'd again design and develop educational media for kids -- as a key team member, not a blip -- I'd be happy again as a producer and product manager. But I can't seem to find the right job that's more "teachy" than techy and more people-oriented than programming-oriented. If I can't identify and secure that sort of position soon, I truly will look further into teaching -- salary hit or no salary hit -- because life is short and because I neeeeeed to make a difference, not just collect a paycheck!